


CAFE UNIVERSE, Ep: I

by starfiresky



Series: Cafe Universe [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Drama, M/M, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 03:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16421903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfiresky/pseuds/starfiresky
Summary: Contrary to how I feel, painful words come outI made you struggle and I’m struggling tooUnlike my determination, nothing’s getting betterI always disappoint you and I regret it too





	1. When the wind gets cold…

Xiumin

  
I was at that same cafe where we’ve met.

Cafe Universe.

It was winter, and it was a cold day. But not as cold as that winter that you decided to leave.

How much has it pass? Three? Five? Seven years? I wouldn’t even know how to count anymore.

I enter the cafe and sitted on that table we always sit: the one with the red bench, beside the window. I also have ordered what we always have ordered: brewed coffee and strawberry cookies.

Then I waited.

I waited because I thought that one day you would be back. I waited because our names was carved in the wood of that table. The names of all of us.

Do you remember?

I waited because even after you’ve left for China, in search for you success as an empreendor on your little coorporative world, I still had hope in your promise.

It was on that winter night, some time ago, that you ask for us to met. I agreed, because I thought that I would finally get to see you after so long.

You were still in high school, senior year. And I was still thinking If I would go to college or not.

You came in on Cafe Universe with the biggest smile on your face and snowflakes all over your clothes, because of the bike that you ride to be there. I hide a smile, thinking you were crazy to go out in the middle of the snow, in that time of the night, just so you could talk to me because you couldn’t wait till the other day.

And me neither.

You show me all that paper and everything you had found for us, for our future. Amounts of houses to rent in Gyeonggi, phone of establishments that were hiring barista, and even an interview scheduled for me! 

I just couldn't believe any of that.

I couldn’t believe, because you went too far for me when anyone never has done that before.

On that same night, I was planning to leave you. I’ve reasearched a giant and arrogant discours, vomiting lies, and lies all over you. But all I could do was cry.

I cried because I realized I loved you so much. I cried because I didn’t deserve you. I cried because even if we lived in the same world, our universes were in such a distant parallels.

That’s why I decided to did what I did.

Because, even if you said to me that we’re gonna be happy in Gyeonggi, that we should build a Cafe there and for me to be a barista, and you being an advocate like your father always instrute you to; I knew it was unlikely.

But I wanted to believe that.

With all of my strengths.

But, now, looking behind in the past, I think how much of a fool I was to have such hope.

I knew that you’ll never throw your life for a uncertain future. You were a teenage, for God’s sakes. You couldn't even control your own life, even if you wanted. You father would never let you.

And me…

I was just a 21 old waiter, unhappy with my own life in this little town, too afraid to let myself think high. Because I knew the downfall could cause me death.

You asked me why I didn't stop you. Why I didn't come for you or begged for you to runaway with me, like you did.

I told you that it was because I didn’t love you anymore. That my life would be so much better without a cry baby to take care off. That I wouldn’t deal with a immature child like you, just like your father had to. I told you the most outrageous lies that I could think, because I knew you wouldn’t gave up on me. You were always so stubborn, Hunnie, and that’s why I…

That’s why I put myself aside.

For you, and for your future.

Maybe you regret. Maybe you think you should comeback and restart from were we stopped. Maybe you think that you made an unforgiven mistake, and that it isn’t possible to go back…

But I don’t.

I would do all over again. 


	2. The night that touched my breath

Sehun   
  


I was in that same cafeteria that we’ve met.

Cafe Universe.

It was still cold and I did not imagine it could be so cold at night, to the point that it was hard and tight to breathe.

Aah, and how tight.

I couldn’t tell if the tightness in my chest was because it was so cold, or if it was the weight of memories consuming me.

Do you remember, Minnie?

When we sat on that red leather bench on the left side of the Cafe, looking out through the window?

You said you liked waiting for our friends. Any sign of them was euphoric to you. I have always loved this side of you, of wanting to care for everyone without ever expecting anything in return.

But I wanted to give you the return.

I gave to you, but you threw it away.

The week before that day, I went to Gyeonggi. I saved three months of economy, working from bar to bar, party to party, cleaning pools and delivering newspapers, doing favors for strangers; everything to spend a few days there looking for a life to us.

I was willing to drop everything for you. I'd leave my family and would turn my back on that damn company if it meant staying with you in my arms for another day.

But you wouldn’t want that.

I ran around that whole town looking for somewhere to rent, looking for jobs that would match our routine without you getting tired, without stepping on college duties.

I did all this because I believed in us. I believed so much, so much, that I already had a future plan for the children we would have together. Isn’t that ridiculous? I figured we'd be together forever, like those really luscious romance movies...    
But I was so passionate and blind in love that I did not think of any consequence of my actions.    
When I got home, after spending that time in Gyeonggi, my father was waiting for me in the office. He told me that I didn’t have a choice to make. That family was my choice. I reluctantly told him he couldn’t rule my life. He was nervous and argued with me, vomiting on me the same words you said to me.

Immature.

Child.

I wanted to prove otherwise. I wanted him to swallow everything he assumed of me. So I worked hard at the company's office. I did my best to prove that I was a man who could handle a destiny for myself.

But it didn’t help.

At that point, I did not realize he already knew about us. I did not imagine it was that clear. Much less did I imagine that he had threatened my mother to find out who I was hanging out with, using his car. You know Mom always liked you, she would never talk about us if it was not for the threats. And that was what dad was good at: making threats.

We moved to China when I least expected it leaving you behind without a goodbye. I sent you several letters, and you never answered me. I thought you had given up on me. I thought you hated me. But only later did I find out that father intercepted them all. I did not know that until very recently.

So I wanted to make him pay.

But now that he's gone, I do not feel any need for it anymore. And I can not help feeling finally free. I feel as if nothing else could tie me to this life that I did not choose. I feel nothing holds me back to you.

But…

Do you still want me?

I'm not a fool. Today, I know what happened in the past. The things you told me… it were not true. I know you better than that, now.    
You have to understand me, Minnie, that when you scream at me those words, they settled in my mind. I was a dreamy, immature teenager, who was not as confident as I am today. You just confirmed my biggest fears. It was cruel.

But today, I know why you did it.

You sacrifice yourself to me when no one else did. And I'm grateful for that. I am grateful to have been loved by you, and more than grateful, I feel honored.

And today, when I come back here and think about our past, I miss what we had.

I miss your laughs.

I miss your skin against mine.

I miss your chocolate chip cookies.

But, most of all, I miss you.


End file.
